By Dr. Kaci Deauquier Sheridan and Rob Sheridan
When your child faces discipline in school, your involvement is crucial. Studies show that active parental engagement reduces discipline referrals and behavior problems. Maintaining open communication can prevent more serious issues. Here are some things that you can do if your child is disciplined.
Understand the situation
Talk with your child – Initiate a conversation with your child to understand what happened. Encourage them to share details. Make sure to write it down.
Clarify rules and expectations – Ensure your child understands the school’s rules and expectations, along with the possible consequences for breaking them.
Review the school’s discipline referral – Request a copy of the discipline referral or write-up from the school to ensure that you have a clear understanding of the incident.

Agreeing with the discipline
Communicate openly – Inform the school that you have discussed the issue with your child. Share whether you believe the behavior was intentional and if your child has learned their lesson.
Home consequences – Make the school aware of any consequences given at home for the misbehavior. Cooperation with the school can lead to potentially reducing the severity of the disciplinary consequence.
Apology – Consider having your child apologize or write an apology letter/email to demonstrate their understanding and remorse.
Disagreeing with the Discipline
If you believe the discipline is unfair or your child has been wrongly disciplined, take these steps.
Early contact – As soon as you’re aware of a behavioral incident, contact the school to stay actively engaged in the disciplinary process.
Calm discussion – During the discussion with the school personnel remain calm and open to hearing both sides of the story.
Identify challenges – Ask your child or their teachers if there are academic struggles, language barriers, bullying, or any other factors that could be impacting their behavior at school.
Contact school officials – Reach out to the school principal, superintendent, or board members to request a meeting or information about the appeals process in your district.
Propose alternative consequences – Offer alternative disciplinary consequences you believe may align with your child’s educational and emotional needs while remaining reasonable and realistic.
Engaging with the school
When discussing discipline with the school, seek information and clarification.
Additional support – Inquire if any additional support or interventions have been provided to your child, especially if they have indicated having difficulties understanding and following the rules in the past.
Discipline application – Ask questions to understand how teachers and administrators are applying discipline consequences as outlined in the code of conduct.
Effective communication – Determine school policies regarding communicating with parents before serious problems arise, intervention strategies, and the support they offer to address issues before resorting to discipline.
Keeping records
Marinating clear records in writing is essential.
Document contacts – Write down the name, job title, phone numbers, and email addresses of everyone you communicate with at the school or district.
Follow-up emails – After every verbal conversation, send an email summarizing the discussion, including the date and time.
Save all documentation – Preserve all electronic and written documentation received, such as emails or notes from parent-teacher conferences, recordings of meetings, and phone call notes.
Special Needs Consideration
If your child has a disability or mental health condition or is suspected to have one that needs to be taken into account. If the child has an individualized education plan, ensure that the school follows that plan when administering discipline. The school should not alter the individualized education plan to accommodate discipline or alternative placements that may harm your child.
Active parental involvement is vital when your child faces discipline in school. If you need a translator, the school is required to provide one to you and provide communication in your native language to ensure your understanding and full participation. Whether you agree or disagree with the discipline, effective communication and understanding the situation from all angles can help find the best resolution for your child’s educational, behavioral, and emotional growth and success.

For more information or if you would like more assistance please feel free to reach out to EnlightenEd Consulting, LLC at www.enlightenedconsulting.org or info@enlightenedconsulting.org.